"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
