every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize