How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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