belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
