So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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