If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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