so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
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Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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