I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
