I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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