I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
