I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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