My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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