The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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