omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
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i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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