the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
