$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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