Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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