i was rollin on her like bob the builder
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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