Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
