it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
