At least make sure they are 18
Why
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
