awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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