so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Oh god it's open bar.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize