So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
