I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
