I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.