and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize