god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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