YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.