I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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