My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
