Hey man sorry I got all grabby
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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