The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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