Yo dont text me then not text me
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize