DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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