You made me cry and you don't even care
look no pants
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
