Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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