Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
