I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I stole a fireplace last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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