dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Randomize
