GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
