matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
