omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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