I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
did i just pee glitter
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
