ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved