it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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