I must be too annoying 4 u.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE