I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.