I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival