I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.