drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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