No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
