I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
