I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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