Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
either way he was missing a nipple.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm way too hungover for life right now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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