haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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