Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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