if i can run in heels then i can drive
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
