Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
