Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
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I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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