508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
