woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
