Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
