My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
